Definition of Insanity
by CrazyTeddyBear
Summary: Hitsugaya Toshiro wonders if it's possible to be possesed when you're already dead- or if he's just going insane and that voice in his head is only making him lose it faster.


**A/N: Another oneshot. It has to do with the relationship between Hitsugaya and Hyorinmaru as Hitsugaya is growing up. Hope you enjoy it, don't forget to leave a review. *Bleach is the property of Tite Kubo, and this story is not intended for prophet*. The story ties in briefly with Order of the Pheonix, it won't make a difference for those of you who haven't read it, but for those of you who have- see if you can find the hint.**

**Definition of Sanity**

**Toshiro POV**

My eyes flew open and I looked around the room I shared with my Grandmother, breathing hard. _He _was trying to talk again. Calling my name. Over and over again in that icy inner world. I never wanted anything to do with him. He was a monster, some kind of demon. Normal people never heard voices in their heads. Normal people never had demons whisking them away in their sleep.

_**Hitsugaya Toshiro.**_

I ran out of the room and collapsed behind the house, my arms around my ears. He wouldn't shut up. He never left me alone. Before it was just in my sleep, but now it was a constant murmer.

_**Hitsugaya Toshiro . . . I know you can hear me . . . my name is . . .**_

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up." I muttered, "Leave me alone." I was trying not to cry. The voice was scaring me, "I just want to be normal. Can't you let that happen?"

_**Impossible. My name is . . .**_

"I can't hear your damn name! Leave me alone!"

_I dream of a plain of ice._

I ran through the forest, narrowly dodging a stone. Someone yelled behind me, "Get the freak!". I ignored them and ran faster. Trees were flying past me, their branched whipping across my face. If I could get to the house, they would leave me alone. They always did. I slid down a hill and then sprinted through an ankle deep river, hoping they would stop following me.

_**Monsters.**_

"Leave me alone! I do not have time for this right now." I yelled, trying to block out the horrible voice.

I stepped onto the bank on the other side and the river froze over. Shouts and sounds of the chase turned into yelps of surprise as the pursuers all slid across the ice.

_**Served them right.**_

"You bastard. This is just going to make things harder for me." I spat out, "And what if you had killed them?"

_**That would never happen.**_

Hinamori stood on the hill, looking towards me, a frown on her face. I had forgotten she was going to visit. "Shiro-chan? Is everything alright?"

"Fine, absolutely fine. What makes you think otherwise?" I hissed, trying to control my voice.

" . . . nothing." she looked towards the river, and as I walked away I heard her murmer, "I could have sworn I felt a Taicho class reiatsu. Was I imagining it?"

_I feel the presence of 'ice'_

I shivered, nights were so cold lately. I was surprised no one in the village was complaining about it yet. It was almost as if a cold wind blew in once it got dark, covering everything in a layer of frost. Hinamori commented on it too when she was here, always shooting looks in my direction, and then shrugging and walking over to play with the next door neighbours.

I didn't begrudge her the fact that she was trying to ignore me. Hell, I would try and ignore me. She was training to be a Shinigami- surely she had noticed something was wrong with me.

_**Nothing wrong**_.

Hah, getting encouragement from a demon.

Ironic.

And annoying as hell.

I got up and walked outside again, it was slightly warmer there, but not so much. I was always cold lately, I could never seem to get warm. It was like I was freezing from the inside out- maybe the people of this town were right, maybe I was actually a demon of ice. Or maybe this _was _hell after all, and the Shinigami who had sent me here had lied to me.

But hell was supposed to be warm, right?

And I was so cold, so very, very _cold_.

The demon in my mind stirred with worry.

"You don't get to pretend to be nice, you bastard." I spat, "I know exactly whose fault this is."

It heaved a sigh, but stayed silent.

_I hear a voice, an echoing voice,_

_Crushing . . . Enfulging . . . Echoing into the distance . . ._

_Just like thunder._

_**Hitsugaya Toshiro.**_

I ignored it and kept walking.

_**Hitsugaya Toshiro.**_

Just. Keep. Walking. Momo was coming back today and I had promised I would meet her on the outskirts of town. Normally this wouldn't be troublesome, but because people had a habit of treating me like I was a demon . . . Let's just say I was taking the long way around town, as opposed to going through it.

She met me at the other side of the gate, a boy with yellow hair standing beside her. I frowned, did Hinamori have a boyfriend? No. They weren't acting like that, and even if they were, I shouldn't make assumptions like that. That would be hypocritical of me.

"Shiro-chan!" she yelled excitedly, "You're late!"

"I am not. You're early." I said irritably, "Who's that?" I turned to the blonde boy.

He grinned, "Izuru. Nice to meet you. Hinamori has said a lot about you."

"I'm sure she has."

_**She means no harm.**_

_She doesn't. That doesn't mean you don't, though. Stop trying to get on my good side. Just leave already._

I couldn't help notice that Izuru Kira was looking at me like he was afraid of me, though.

_On that plain of ice, I die._

I had other nightmares too, different ones, ones where I was looking out of the eyes of someone who was not me, and fighting great battles alongside other warriors . . . other Shinigami.

And dying, because every imaginary life must have an imaginary end.

I wondered if this was the demon's form of subliminal messaging.

_I hear a voice, an echoing voice,_

_Crushing . . . Enfulging . . . Falling into my hand. . ._

_Just like thunder._

Hinamori was gone again, her weird, depressed friend with her. I was nice to him, and he was nice to mean. It was the first time someone was ever nice to me, but if I had to say he was doing it just to make Hinamori happy.

That was fine with me, I was just being nice to him to make Hinamori happy.

I mean, I'm so used to being alone now I never get lonely. I can just ignore, spend time with Granny. It's not like anyone else can stand to be around me anyways.

_**I like you. As long as I am here, I can promise that you will never be alone.**_

I froze, and for the first time, I didn't tell him to shut up.

Not that he- I mean, not that _it _is growing on me or anything. I've just decided that it would be better to ignore him than just to fight with him all the time.

That's totally the reason.

And that woman, the one with the blonde hair . . . she had known he had heard a voice. Was that normal for Shinigami?

I didn't know, I would have thought Hinamori would tell me, but she was still new at this. I wasn't surprised she hadn't noticed.

There was really only one was to find out whether it was true or not, anyways.

I leave for the Academy tomorrow.

_Far . . . Near . . . I hear it resounding . . ._

_Now I decide to search . . ._

_To find it, and move onwards . . ._

_Even if I die on this plain of ice_

In my new uniform for the Shinigami Academy, I sat and meditated like my teachers told me to.

_**Child, can you hear me now?**_

_Yes._

_**My name is . . .**_

_I can't hear it yet._

_**You will.**_

_I owe you an apology. You are not out to steal my Soul._

_**I am not.**_

_And you are not a demon._

_**That is also true.**_

_I am not, however, sorry I told you to shut up. For a Zanpakuto, you are very loud._

It laughed, _**Do you really mind?**_

_No. Not really. You're the only real friend I have._

_**That is not true.**_

_You are the best friend I've ever had, though. That, or you're the most determined stalker to ever walk the face of this planet. I am still unsure of which._

It laughed again, and the boy found himself laughing with it.


End file.
